What to say when someone’s dog dies.
Say something, and use the dog’s name. Most people stay quiet because they’re afraid of getting it wrong. You can’t really get it wrong by being kind.
Words you can send right now
“I just heard about Max. I’m so sorry. He was such a good boy.”
“I’m thinking of you and Bella today. You don’t have to reply to this.”
“I keep thinking about how Max used to meet me at the door. I’m going to miss him.”
If you never met the dog
“I never got to meet Luna, but I know how much she meant to you. Tell me about her, if you ever feel like it.”
If they had to put the dog down
Many people carry guilt about this, even when it was the kind thing to do, so go gently. “You stayed with her and you made it easy for her. That was love.”
If it was sudden
Don’t look for a reason. “There was no way you could have known. I’m so sorry. Can I bring dinner over tonight?”
What not to say
“It was only a dog.” “Will you get another one?” “At least he had a long life.” “I know exactly how you feel.” They’re usually meant well, and they usually land badly.
A month later, say it again
The messages stop after the first week, and the house stays quiet. “I was thinking about Max today” a month later can mean more than anything sent on the first day. So can a message on the first Christmas. We wrote about that one too.
If you’d like to give something.
Give something with the name on it: a photo, an ornament, a donation in their name. Or a song, which is what we make. An original song with their dog’s name in it, written from one small memory: $29, by email within 24 hours. You don’t need to know the stories. Add their email and we’ll ask them gently, when they’re ready. If it doesn’t sound like their dog, you get every cent back.
Give a song Or send them this free letter page